I wish I was a bit better at the technical stuff, I really do. In my head and my dreams you are looking at a beautiful screen with a video embedded halfway down the page. In reality, well, you can see that the video is above and is a bit portrait in it's appearance. That's because I'm still learning how to make videos and how to upload them to Youtube. In fact this is my first one.
So, I wanted to share with you my direction, ambitions and exactly where I'm going, and also to give you a glimpse into my professional life and my studio.
Firstly, here is what I'm not going to do at this point - I'm not going to create a 'creative CV'. I'll tell you why.
The majority of my peer group on the Professional Practice module have something in common - they are bright, young pre-professionals on the cusp of breaking out into the exciting wide world and all of the opportunities that offers. They have to introduce themselves to that world and so the creation of promotional material and a creative CV is perfectly right for them, at this time. They will need to get 'out there' and visible in order to stand out from the crowd when it comes to competing from the incredible internships and job opportunities that are available.
Me? I'm a bit more 'long in the tooth'. I've worked all over Europe, I've managed budgets of millions, I've managed cross functional teams in several countries, I've run a business for several years and now, I've come home and I've created a goal. A goal which I am part way through. My goal looks something like this:-
- Save up enough money and downsize enough to support 4 dedicated years of study. (Tick)
- Enrol on a specific illustration degree / masters. (Tick)
- Change my business - set up an independent, creative, illustration business. (Tick)
- Find an appropriate business premises. (Tick)
- Study and gain a qualification to masters level (at least).
- Improve own practice - techniques, processes, genres, children's illustration, saleable material (cards, packaging etc), posters, reportage, hand lettering etc).
- Illustrate own book (series of seven, two currently written).
- Gain teaching experience.
- Apply for lecturing positions.
I want to teach - but this has to be a couple of years away yet. I have to develop myself first so that I can start to trickle in an income and I wanted to dedicate four years to improving my practice, so for now, it is appropriate to concentrate on that goal. It would be easy to retreat to my 'safe place' of employment and financial reward but that would take me away from something I have promised myself. It is reassuring to know that the University Careers Service is available to students for three years post study, as I will undoubtably need this at the appropriate time, but that is not now.
For now, I want to concentrate on improving what I do and also running a business - that means not only renting the studio but dealing with HMRC - even if I am not earning anything I have to declare my business for tax purposes - in fact I have dealt with HMRC for many years and as I run an existing business it has simply been a case of changing what my business does. I have to carefully monitor and declare all specific business expenses, that means rent, heat, light, telephone and art materials as long as they are only for business use. I have to keep a record of anything that I earn and anything that I pay out and I have to complete a tax return each year to declare my earnings so that HMRC can apply the correct amount of tax. It all sounds daunting but in my experience HMRC are very helpful and they have a lot of useful information on the website here. Remember that when you are running a business any money that comes in is not 'yours' - there are deductions to make as tax is often paid annually instead of monthly, so my best advice is to get in touch with HMRC as early on as possible so that you don't get a shock further down the line.
I have one more, quite personal reason for not wanting to send a CV out now and I will explain it. I am a work addict. There. I've said it. One thing that I try to be mindful of is that I was raised in a family where you went to school, to get good exam results to get a job. I have worked since I was sixteen years old and I have a fear, a deep anxiety of not working, not being able to pay the bills, not being able to provide for my family. I referred above to my 'safe' place - I bolt back into well paid employment as soon as I feel the anxiety. I did it during the second semester of the first year - I worked for three days a week as a Project Manager, and managed my University lectures and workload in the other two. I did this by running a military style timetable and I did well. I passed the module with a grade I was very happy with and I am fairly pleased with the work I did, but here's what I did not do - I did not develop. That is what this is all about for me, my personal development - and not just artistic development. The Professional Practice module threw me right into that pit of anxiety - I felt it deep inside and it has taken enormous resolve to say 'no, Helen, you have made this investment in yourself. You deserve it.' It would have been so easy to create that CV, but if I did, I would send it out, relentlessly. And I would find work. And I would waste the opportunity I have given myself with the studio, and break the promises I made to myself and my family, and I would be doing someone else's best work instead of my best work. And how can I teach unless I am my authentic best? I can't begin to tell you how hard this decision to invest in myself has been and the internal struggle I went through in order to permit myself to do this. My decks need to be kept clear - for now.
So instead of creating my CV, I'd like to invite you into my studio. Come and see the investment I've made and how I am using the space, and just for fun, I've added some images below of some of the work I've created there.
H. x
No comments:
Post a Comment