Module Reflection

Okay I apologise wholeheartedly for the 'reflection' image.  I am often literal in my art but I don't apologise for that.  This module has really helped me to understand who I am and where I am going on my journey.

I began this module as a serious student - I have always worked hard, researched thoroughly, been open to criticism, advice and new ideas whilst holding true to my influences and style.  However, I have emerged at the end of the module with a different and, I hope, better viewpoint of the artist that I am and will continue to become.

I have always known that it is a brave move to change career, but I have learned that the skills I have already developed with carry on with me - the teamwork, planning, financial and budgeting, respect of deadlines, professionalism, understanding of process, negotiation, understanding of legislation etc that are crucial for Project Management are equally important when running a business in the creative industry.

I started writing the blogs in slightly different manner, my early posts are lighthearted and reflective of my past, the titles are fun and mainly related to music, one of my creative inspirations.  The later posts are more serious in consideration of subject matter and future and the titles reflective of content.  

After careful consideration, I have negotiated against parts of the module that are not right for me right now, specifically the CV creation and approaching agencies for internships and jobs, and have  focused on my own studio and how I am going to use it for the next few years.

I have gained 'hands on' experience working with Bexie Bush and running a children's workshop, I have created promotional items, I have approached professionals in my field and been successful in securing interviews with several of them.  Some of these contacts are now people I know I can contact going forward.  

I have worked with my cohort to look at our individual paths, examine what is similar and what is different, I have been impressed with the commitment I have seen and wish every one of them well - I am sure they will not need my good wishes, I have seen a tremendous work ethic and the emergence of talents in many directions.

I have identified areas of strength in my practice, and also areas for improvement and new skills I need to learn and have made plans for the Summer on how I can acquire these skills in time for the all important third year of my studies.

I have considered and experimented with social media and learned lessons in what to post - and what not to post.

I have learned that there are myriad ways to make a living doing something I love, that I will not always be producing work that I love but that I am privileged to have the choice in what I do.

I have learned about the support that is available to me in the University, especially Debbie and her team, whose support is available to me for three years post studies and I am hugely grateful that this support will be available to me when I do need it.

And I've made a list of things 'to do' over the Summer.  Here it is:-

• Complete some online tutorials for Adobe Illustrator

• Complete some online tutorials for Adobe InDesign

• Set up the Silhouette cutter ready for use with vector files (see learning point 1 above)

• Practice using the Wacom Cintiq

• Attend life drawing and print making Summer classes

• Enter three competitions to be set by the University (optional Summer projects)

• Enter Illustration Friday topic of the week

• Enter the Scrawlrbox challenge monthly

• Revise 'Lexi Dexter and the Summer of Surprises (working title)' and produce images ready for submission to publisher

• Have fun, rest and relax ready for the hard work in September

Lexi deserves some better illustrations

My final thoughts on the module is that it has been a challenging, enjoyable, scary, fulfilling journey and that it has actually changed the way I think and work.

What a ride!

H. x

Promotional Items

When considering promotional items, I considered carefully what it was that I wanted to say and to whom. Most of my cohort have produced beautiful paper based products suitable for mailing to art directors or design studios, with a view to securing internships.  I have explained my reasons in previous blog posts on why this is not for me at the moment, however, I do want to get my name 'out there', my work to be seen and to be remembered, so with this in mind I decided to create some bespoke, small run items that might be more likely to be kept by the carefully chosen recipient.

I am lucky to have a heat press and I decided to use this to apply my own design to promotional items.  I chose a black, adult sized t-shirt, a white, child sized t-shirt and a tote bag so that I could test out the design application to different mediums. The design was printed on specialist paper using sublimation inks. The design can then be applied using heat direct to material. On a white shirt this can mean that the design can be pressed straight onto the shirt front.  For a black shirt this is not possible, and so the design has to be heat applied to a special flock. The flock has a removable back and once the design is set, the back is removed and the flock then applied to the garment by heat. The same method was used for the tote bag and this method produced a sharp, high quality image. The white t-shirt direct to material method was less successful as the print was not as sharp, but there were also differences in material quality so this was a useful experiment.

I also used the same method, but a different piece of heat equipment to apply the design to a mug. This worked well and the outcome was pleasing. The bespoke, short run nature of this production method allows for easy change in designs so I changed the colour way for this experiment, but it means that the item can be easily adapted to the audience, for example if pitching to a publisher I might send a printed book bag with a children's or adult's illustration depending on the nature of the work I hope to secure.

Trade fairs and specialist events, book fairs, publisher festivals etc are all useful venues for self promotion.  There is the Spring Fair at the NEC, the Hay Festival plus numerous book fairs around the world where you might decide to pay for a pitch depending on cost, footfall and audience, or you may attend as 'public' armed with packs of promotional material to pass to relevant stands.  

In my face painting role, I have used Solopress to make rolling banners - these stand at over six feet tall and are high quality, high resolution and at £60-90 represent a reasonable level of investment.  Some artists choose to use these at trade fairs but if purchasing, it is essential to ensure that the information on it is full and current, i.e. contact details, website, Facebook and Twitter names and if possible a QI code as I have often seen interested members of the public photograph these banners rather than approach the practitioner for a business card.

The eye catching postcard.

Moo are wonderful for high quality business cards and will send out a sample pack for free, showing the different finishes, including matt, spot gloss etc.  Although they are more expensive than many suppliers, they are good quality and often have discount promotions, and also offer 20% discount to students.  They have a great website which makes it very easy to upload your own designs and create bespoke cards online.

Moo website business card design.

I had already created postcards, which I discuss in an earlier blog and was pleased to receive some feedback from Leo that one of the cards I sent to him was eye catching and would be likely to be kept. These were also printed by Moo, as their upload and design service is easy to use and allowed me to experiment with several different images in one small print run.  However, a learning point, once the postcard had been through the Royal Mail and handled by several pairs of hands, the surface smudged a little and the print wasn't as sharp as I would have liked.

Local events and galleries are also great ways of getting your name out there.  Open Studios are run regionally, where many artists get together to create a 'trail' along which artists work and open their studios to the public. I had considered this for this year but decided not to do this yet, as I don't have a body of items 'for sale'.  Although the 'sale' bit isn't the main point, giving people visibility of your work is, the University projects I have been working on are not right for that audience and so this is something I may do next year.

Social media can play an important part in self promotion.  I have had a Facebook page for some time now and have gathered a small following.  Many of the page followers are not friends and family, which indicates that they are people who have come across my work and liked it enough to 'like' the page. Facebook has the advantage of being free to use, with the option of being able to pay a small sum to promote individual posts, or to pay more to actively promote the page and the business if required. Of course the disadvantage is that the work is in the public domain and can be easily copied or stolen and credit claimed by a third party, so it is essential to use low resolution images and to not post images of any work 'in progress' if there is likely to be third party or competitive interest.

Instagram has also been successful, bringing in followers and interaction.  Unlike Facebook the majority of people 'liking' my images tend to be industry professionals, illustrators or creative industry students.  I have a Twitter account but seldom use it as I have found it of limited use.  I have also used Linkedin, in my capacity as a Project Manager and found it to be successful, but at the moment I won't use this for illustration as it is important for me to keep these personas separate.

Many professionals use behance.net, but I don't feel yet that my work is of a sufficient standard to post in this professional marketplace, ditto the AOI who will showcase an illustrator's work. A quick glance at each site though shows that my competition would be serious established professionals and so my work has to be the very best before I open these kind of accounts.

In summary, my conclusions when considering promotional materials are:-

• Consider the audience - who are you sending the items to and why? what are you hoping to get in return? a job? a network connection?
• Be mindful of cost - my promotional items cost me approximately £3 each which is a higher cost than a business card, but might be more effective depending on audience.
• When producing materials, check information content and then check it again and again. Are your contact details correct? Have you included all ways in which you wish the audience to contact you?
• Keep professional and personal personas separate when using social media. If you have a 'pay the rent' job as well as a creative career, keep those professional personas separate as well.
• Quality is everything. Check paper and print results carefully before committing to a large cost outlay.

So if you see me out in my T-Shirt, carrying my tote bag, please say 'hello'.

H. x

Teaching practice - children's workshop

Throughout the blog posts I have spoken about my goals for the next two years - improving my own practice and starting to earn a small part of my living through selling my artwork, I do have a bigger, longer term goal, and that is to teach.

For many years I have been a mentor, working with young people at risk of offending, young people looking to get back into work, or with people in the workplace. I have worked with schools in the capacity of IT advisor, for example showing teachers how to use the technology available to them, to maximise their teaching, specifically using Apple iPads and apps to replace old, out of date computer programs.  I have a diploma in humanistic, person centred psychotherapy and truly believe Carl Rodgers self actualising theory - the theory that each of us has what we need to grow and learn and to realise our potential in order to have the best human experience possible.  The job of a teacher is to nurture, guide and support others in achieving this potential.

With this in mind, I decided to run a workshop for children as one of the module deliverables for self promotion.

Edie and Mimi in action

I have worked with children as a Face Painter, and have a current DBS check (Disclosure and Barring Service - formerly known as CRB), which proves that I do not have a criminal record that would prevent me from working with vulnerable people and children, but as I am not practicing I don't currently have Public Liability Insurance.  Given this I could not run a workshop in my studio for the paying public. Luckily, I have my own student at home who is always eager to learn, especially with anything creative, namely my daughter Edie.  A conversation with my friend and fellow student John Carpenter revealed that his granddaughter, Mimi, is similarly creative and of a similar age to Edie.  As John is an animations student and therefore perfectly placed to film a workshop, we decided to team up and run a creative workshop together, in John's house, where he kindly and bravely offered a blank wall which the girls could use as a canvas.

The first thing was to come up with a lesson plan.  We didn't want the workshop to be too structured and prescriptive as the intent was to encourage creativity and narrative, and to allow the girls to form their own roles as a team.  We also wanted the workshop to be fun.

With this in mind we created this lesson plan, which, following the workshop, was also completed with the learning outcomes.

I thoroughly enjoyed running the workshop and interviewing the girls for the video at the end.  I was impressed with the layers and complexity of the 'world' the girls built.  Since running the workshop I have been in touch with the Home Education community in Nottingham to look into the possibility of running some workshops from my studio for home educated children.  This would mean renewing my Public Liability Insurance and there will be considerations such as cost per pupil, any workshop would have to be affordable; health and safety - fire regulations etc, disability access, toilets and hand washing facilities etc, but if possible I would like to run a series of workshops over the Summer where children can experiment with different mediums and techniques.

My eventual aim is to teach in Higher Education, but workshops, combined with my own practice and continued education will provide me with relevant experience so that I can confidently apply for positions in the future.

Watch our short film of the workshop here - 'The Wall is Landscape'.  Thanks to John for filming and for the use of his wall.



H. x

Professional Illustrator Interview - Jackie Ward of Treehuggery

One of the most useful aspects of the Professional Practice module has been the encouragement we've received to 'get out there' and talk to as many professionals in our field as possible.  The people who have generously given of their time and advice have enriched my experience both as an artist myself and as a new creative professional with my foot on the very bottom of the ladder, looking up at these inspirational people.  For the final interview for this blog series, I collaborated with Sarah Duke-Parker, my illustration colleague and partner in crime, and we went to see local Nottingham artist, Jackie Ward, owner of Treehuggery.  Jackie lives very close to me, in the Nottinghamshire countryside and we visited her garden studio one sunny morning where she welcomed us, made us tea and answered all of our nosey questions.

I've known Jackie for a couple of years but had never had the opportunity to ask her so much about her practice, ethos and methods and she was very open and inspirational to speak to.  One of her key pieces of advice is to have belief in yourself and to also believe others when they say that they like your work.  Until last year Jackie also had a 'pay the rent' job but is now making a living full time with her art.  She lives and works 'small', meaning that the Treehuggery ethos, about living slowly and simply and enjoying life at a slow pace is true for her work - Jackie doesn't go after the high paying, big commission multi licence work, rather, all of her work is unique, meaningful and created with love and care.  While I would like to reach a wider audience for myself, as I want to publish my own books and also illustrate for other authors, I think that working in a similar way to Jackie would be a very enjoyable portion of my portfolio of work, as one of my own reasons for career change was to slow down a little and take notice of what happens each day rather than speeding ahead in the fast lane.

Jackie works with found materials, especially with those materials that are disappearing as the world changes; bus tickets, tax discs and other ephemera. She creates meaningful art on a commission basis from personal effects, wedding invitations, literature from an important holiday or visit etc, or with pieces of a treasured watch.   Here, Jackie talks to us about her influences, her art heroes, her methods, what is coming next, how to keep sane and motivated and she has some fantastic advice about branding ourselves.  In a sympathetic echo of the Treehuggery ethos we didn't video Jackie, (she didn't want to be filmed) but we took along a tape recorder and listened to what she had to say.  It is an enjoyable and humble listen.

So pull up a comfy chair, make sure you have a cup of tea and press 'play'.

Interview with Jackie Ward - Treehuggery.

Lecture reflection - Carol Adlam

Carol Adlam

As part of the Directed Projects module, we were given the opportunity to meet and hear from successful and versatile illustrator, artist and write Carol Adlam.  

Carol graduated from the Cambridge School of Arts but the first thing that struck me is that illustration is not her first career!  Like me, she had a successful career not related to the arts and she re-trained in order to do something she loved. Whilst I have never doubted or regretted my decision to change direction in my forties, it was reassuring to see and speak with someone who had done that and is now successfully illustrating, writing, working with other creatives in partnerships, lecturing and also finding positions as resident artist in various establishments, including at the University of Derby.  When I asked Carol about this during the lecture she said that many on her course were mid-career professionals re-training to do something else, which gave me great hope as one of the things I was hoping for when I started my course was a higher number of mature students than there actually are.

Carol Adlam

Like Jo Parry, (see interview earlier in this blog), Carol works in many different styles, children's picture books, reportage - an area I was unaware of until recently but have a great interest in, and interestingly, graphic novels.  The graphic novel is one genre of illustration that generally makes me groan.  Although I think it is incredibly clever how a well drawn graphic novel can tell a story, often without words, I've always felt it is not for me, despite owning an excellent book called 'Understanding Comics' by Scott McCloud - I encourage you to read this even if, like me, you don't like traditional graphic novels.  However Carol approaches the graphic novel in a completely different way and hers are beautifully illustrated and tell a harrowing, true story of a young girl's story of the Holocaust based on interviews with Suzanne, a Holocaust survivor. It was a bit of an eye opener for me and led me to think about how I might approach a graphic novel in my own style - why should I be confined by dark spaces and superheroes?  There is no reason why I couldn't tell a children's story, or that of my Mum, a WW2 refugee, in graphic novel format using colour and line.

So I'm really interested to think about maybe how Carol has become so successful, given that this is a later life choice.  A look at her website 'about me' page gives a clue. Carol has been shortlisted for various prizes and residence positions.  Carol has entered competitions and applied for artist in residence schemes - she has put herself out there and that, alongside her beautiful rendering and work ethic - she illustrated a 64 page colour picture book in three months (she did say a lot of late night tea was consumed) - has given her the success she deserves.

The final point I'll make for tonight (I'm aware I do go on a bit - I'm already over my quota of required blogs and still have quite a bit to report on) is that Carol's website is an excellent resource for anyone putting together a CV and I will certainly bear it in mind when I am ready to do mine and get out there - it is clean and clear, nice examples of images in the portfolio section and the 'about' and 'client' sections show Carol's achievements.

Carol will be based down at the print rooms in Britannia Mill for some of the next few months and I will certainly be taking the opportunity to go over and say hello to her.  I will leave you with a couple more of her images for now.

H. x

Work Experience - Down at The Mill...

While it may be true that I am not in a position to look for employment at the moment, this doesn't mean that I'm not hungry for new experiences and work experiences in the creative industry. At the first module session of this semester, we had a guest speaker, Bexie Bush, who came along to tell us about her multi-award winning  short animated film 'Mend and Make Do', and to introduce her new project, The Rumour Mill, for which she was looking for interns to help with set building.

John Smedley's Mill, Cromford.

The Rumour Mill is set in John Smedley's Mill in beautiful Cromford and 'whispers about the future of energy along the Derwent Valley'.  I was immediately captured by Bexie's energy and enthusiasm, her beautiful imagery in 'Mend and Make Do' and the opportunity to be involved in something so exciting and right at the beginning.

However, as well as being a full time student, I'm also a full time Mum. Lee, my lovely and supportive husband, and I have arranged our lives so that we can offer as much time as possible to our daughter during her childhood, in the hope that she grows up in a happy, supportive and creative environment, meaning that Lee works the late shift at Derby University, in the equipment centre, and can do the morning school run, and I can work early and do the school pick up and variety of evening commitments.  My only question, therefore, was how to make this work?  

Luckily the location is within easy commuting distance, Bexie and her team are friendly and flexible and some of the tasks could be completed away from the Mill and so I was able to put my hand up and say 'me please'.

Set in production. Familiar?

Bexie at work in the studio with Jeremy in the background.

Walking into John Smedley's is like stepping back in time. Through the thick, paint encrusted front door, up the wide wooden stairs and turn left into a relatively modern (circa 1980s) office housing little clusters of workstations with, thankfully not 1980s, computers.  A friendly receptionist dishes out a site pass and a Health and Safety questionnaire.  Once this is complete and I have solemnly sworn not to climb any ladders without proper training we are good to go.

The studio is located through huge double doors behind the office, stepping back from the 1980s to the 1950s.  Uneven wooden steps, echoing corridors, huge, colossal doors with windows showing peeks of industrial textile machinery and finally into the cavernous studio space where Bexie and her team have set up production. There are drawings, photographs and both full and small scale models everywhere.  A huge iMac, a detailed modelling area for Jeremy - the very talented chief of models (his unofficial title), and a set of workbenches along the right hand side with mucky aprons, craft knives, cutting mats and other equipment ready for eager interns.

Set Design for the full scale models

Cutting bricks

The tasks have been varied, fun and sometimes arduous, cutting hundreds and hundreds of little rectangular bricks from thick card with a scalpel (I later devised a Stanley Knife and very sharp scissors technique, but only when the precision of the size could be guaranteed). We all suffered from 'scalpel finger' but the work is enjoyable and meditative with a lot of jolly chat and always cheerful and varied music in the background (Bexie is from a creative and musical family). Each component of the full scale model has to be made by hand, so other work has included sanding and painting various machinery parts, including a huge air vent that will be constructed, piece by piece from many hollowed out and individually plastered, sanded and painted blocks.

Model textile machine

The Mill, which is most famous for making and supplying the Queen's knickers, is wonderful and the work interesting and varied. At 12 noon the workers lunch bell rings and the machinists and textile operators go to the canteen for lunch. At 1pm the bell rings again signalling a return to work, and the start of our own lunch break.  The canteen is subsidised selling all sorts of hearty fare for the grand total of about £1.15 including a cup of coffee.  I didn't ask what the vegan option was but usually settled on a proper cheese and thick cut onion sandwich on white bread - just the job after a hard mornings scalpel wielding.

Cutting 'bricks'

Industrial strength sanding

So far I have learned a good deal about the art of model making - for example the parts for the air vent were not straightforward - each piece is slightly different and so they are numbered for correct assembly, and the plaster / poly resin coating they were given reacted with the first batch of paint, resulting in heavy peeling which had to be sanded off by hand as a smooth surface is required.  I cut many, many small clay roof tiles, some of which could not be used as the thickness of the clay had to be precise (not my incompetence, just a result of the technique, it is impossible to guess exactly how thick the centre of the clay is once it's rolled out and you have only a few minutes to cut them before the thin clay begins to dry).  It was lovely to be able to add value by using the Stanley Knife and very sharp scissors on the bricks, which cut production time down by at least half, and as I have a friend in the textile industry, I was able to give Bexie a huge bag of industrial clips and fastenings that can be used as machinery parts.

I have taken some of the learning from working with Bexie and the team through into my own practice. I like working in 3D to an extent and had an idea for an interactive, fold out, Charity Shop for the Batsford Prize 're-use, recycle, re-claim' project and while I didn't cut and apply a thousand little bricks I did draw them. Time permitting, I will use the 3D effect in future projects.

I've taken a few weeks break from the Mill to concentrate on the last couple of weeks of University before final submission, and also to accommodate the Nottinghamshire Schools Easter Holidays, which are inconveniently out of synch with the Derby University holidays, but I have been assured I will be welcomed back 'with open arms' as soon as the Semester finishes.  I can't wait to see what the next stage in the film production will be and to perhaps learn some new skills.

I've also discovered another potential employment opportunity for the future, maybe theatre design or set construction could form part of my employment portfolio? Exciting stuff.

Hundreds of cut out bricks

Hundreds of hand drawn bricks

Monica applying the bricks while John works in the background

You can read an interview with Bexie Bush about the making of 'Mend and Make Do' here.

H. x

Pofessional Illustrator Interview - Leo Broadley.

When we were asked to identify professional Illustrators to interview for the Professional Practice module, I couldn't wait to interview Leo.

We know Leo as one of our most enthusiastic lecturers, supporting our growth in Visual Communication through tough assignments (I am thinking back to 'The Great Face Race - our first project in the First Year of University life - one week to produce an A0, professionally photographed, illustrated poster featuring typography - welcome to University!), masses of enthusiasm and shared experience and, when required, tough love.

What we don't always see, is that Leo, who specialises in Graphic Design teaching at the University, is a successful and prolific illustrator across many genres, but specialising in Children's book illustrations.

Armed with three student colleagues, a camera and tripod and a whole heap of questions, we interviewed Leo following one of our early Professional Practice sessions.  Leo kindly gave up his lunch break and brought in lots of his illustration work to share with us.  I have waited until now to post this interview for a few reasons - firstly I have been processing some of what Leo told us, and trying out some of the techniques discussed, and secondly, I wanted to keep this interview up my sleeve for a while, otherwise every other student would have the same idea. All is fair in love and competitive learning. :-)

Actually the first part of the above is truer for me than the second.  I have many illustrator heroes and one of the questions I always ask myself is this.  How did they do that? Why does that watercolour wash look so beautiful and smooth and mine does not?  How much of that work is done digitally?  What paint / pens / methods do they use?  

Chris Riddell

Last year I went to the Hay Festival with my daughter, and while standing in line waiting for art hero and children's laureate, Chris Riddell, to sign two of Edie's books, my heart was pounding.  Lots of children were asking Chris questions; 'where did you get the idea for Ottoline?' which he was graciously answering, smiling down at these little beings who are our future writers and artists and storytellers.  I checked with Edie that she didn't have any questions for Chris, nope, she didn't.  Everything on her list had been answered during the previous Q&A session in the lecture tent.  Good.  While Chris was signing the books I coughed nervously, 'er... Chris, is it okay if I ask you a couple of technical questions?'.  Chris looked up at me, smiled his huge smile and said 'of course.'  I proceeded to ask him how much work he produced digitally (none, except for tidying up the line and creating watercolour washes).  He works with a large brush to create the block colours. I asked him about materials (Kuretake brush pens, Dr. P.H. Martins Radiant Watercolour Concentrate, most kinds of paper) and I asked his advice for students (draw every day, do it your way).  

Leo's home studio

But what has this got to do with Leo?  Leo also gave me a huge lightbulb moment - that question about the watercolour washes? He answered it perfectly and it's not dissimilar to what Chris told me.  You'll have to watch the interview to find out what Leo told me, but suffice to say it's one of the techniques I'll be practicing over the Summer.

You can watch the interview here.

Reflecting back on the interview, and this relates to the processing I referred to earlier.  Where Leo is, is pretty much exactly where I want to be in a few years time, illustrating, supplemented with teaching, but while I feel I have found my 'personal voice', my own style of illustrating, some of the techniques I have discovered will help me add that professional polish to my work. I just need to do it my way, and building up a body of work I am proud of is the next step for me.

Have a look at Leo's beautiful work here and here.

If you want to find out more about Chris Riddell you can do so here.

A tour of my Studio

I wish I was a bit better at the technical stuff, I really do.  In my head and my dreams you are looking at a beautiful screen with a video embedded halfway down the page.  In reality, well, you can see that the video is above and is a bit portrait in it's appearance.  That's because I'm still learning how to make videos and how to upload them to Youtube.  In fact this is my first one. 

So, I wanted to share with you my direction, ambitions and exactly where I'm going, and also to give you a glimpse into my professional life and my studio.

Firstly, here is what I'm not going to do at this point - I'm not going to create a 'creative CV'.  I'll tell you why.

The majority of my peer group on the Professional Practice module have something in common - they are bright, young pre-professionals on the cusp of breaking out into the exciting wide world and all of the opportunities that offers.  They have to introduce themselves to that world and so the creation of promotional material and a creative CV is perfectly right for them, at this time.  They will need to get 'out there' and visible in order to stand out from the crowd when it comes to competing from the incredible internships and job opportunities that are available.

Me? I'm a bit more 'long in the tooth'.  I've worked all over Europe, I've managed budgets of millions, I've managed cross functional teams in several countries, I've run a business for several years and now, I've come home and I've created a goal.  A goal which I am part way through.  My goal looks something like this:-

• Save up enough money and downsize enough to support 4 dedicated years of study. (Tick)
• Enrol on a specific illustration degree / masters. (Tick)
• Change my business - set up an independent, creative, illustration business. (Tick)
• Find an appropriate business premises. (Tick)
• Study and gain a qualification to masters level (at least).
• Improve own practice - techniques, processes, genres, children's illustration, saleable material (cards, packaging etc), posters, reportage, hand lettering etc).
• Illustrate own book (series of seven, two currently written).
• Gain teaching experience.
• Apply for lecturing positions.

I am only part way down that list.  I have at least two more years of dedicated study and any 'time off' will be spent developing my own practice first and foremost.  I am running a business that is not, as yet, generating income (and is not forecast to do so for another 12 months - this is a budgeted part of the plan), but that forecast is in place, I have financial commitments and the Summer will be spent 6th and 7th points of the above list.  I have a checklist of things I need to achieve.  Things like familiarising myself further with Illustrator so that I can pair this with my cutting machine (for which I need vector files), incorporating more digital techniques, screen printing, etc.

I want to teach - but this has to be a couple of years away yet.  I have to develop myself first so that I can start to trickle in an income and I wanted to dedicate four years to improving my practice, so for now, it is appropriate to concentrate on that goal.  It would be easy to retreat to my 'safe place' of employment and financial reward but that would take me away from something I have promised myself.  It is reassuring to know that the University Careers Service is available to students for three years post study, as I will undoubtably need this at the appropriate time, but that is not now.

For now, I want to concentrate on improving what I do and also running a business - that means not only renting the studio but dealing with HMRC - even if I am not earning anything I have to declare my business for tax purposes - in fact I have dealt with HMRC for many years and as I run an existing business it has simply been a case of changing what my business does.  I have to carefully monitor and declare all specific business expenses, that means rent, heat, light, telephone and art materials as long as they are only for business use.  I have to keep a record of anything that I earn and anything that I pay out and I have to complete a tax return each year to declare my earnings so that HMRC can apply the correct amount of tax.  It all sounds daunting but in my experience HMRC are very helpful and they have a lot of useful information on the website here.  Remember that when you are running a business any money that comes in is not 'yours' - there are deductions to make as tax is often paid annually instead of monthly, so my best advice is to get in touch with HMRC as early on as possible so that you don't get a shock further down the line.

I have one more, quite personal reason for not wanting to send a CV out now and I will explain it.  I am a work addict.  There. I've said it.  One thing that I try to be mindful of is that I was raised in a family where you went to school, to get good exam results to get a job. I have worked since I was sixteen years old and I have a fear, a deep anxiety of not working, not being able to pay the bills, not being able to provide for my family.  I referred above to  my 'safe' place - I bolt back into well paid employment as soon as I feel the anxiety. I did it during the second semester of the first year - I worked for three days a week as a Project Manager, and managed my University lectures and workload in the other two. I did this by running a military style timetable and I did well. I passed the module with a grade I was very happy with and I am fairly pleased with the work I did, but here's what I did not do - I did not develop. That is what this is all about for me, my personal development - and not just artistic development.  The Professional Practice module threw me right into that pit of anxiety - I felt it deep inside and it has taken enormous resolve to say 'no, Helen, you have made this investment in yourself.  You deserve it.'  It would have been so easy to create that CV, but if I did, I would send it out, relentlessly.  And I would find work.  And I would waste the opportunity I have given myself with the studio, and break the promises I made to myself and my family, and I would be doing someone else's best work instead of my best work. And how can I teach unless I am my authentic best? I can't begin to tell you how hard this decision to invest in myself has been and the internal struggle I went through in order to permit myself to do this. My decks need to be kept clear - for now.

So instead of creating my CV, I'd like to invite you into my studio.  Come and see the investment I've made and how I am using the space, and just for fun, I've added some images below of some of the work I've created there.

H. x